David Mackey
2021-03-14 02:40:03 UTC
I WANDERED
On balmy seas and pernie schooners
On strivers and warming things
In a peanut coalshed clad
I wandered happy as a jew
To meet good Doris King.
Past grisby trees and hulky builds
Past ratters and bradder sheep
In a resus baby stooped
I wandered hairy as a dog
To get a goobites sleep
Down hovey lanes and stoney claves
Down ricketts and sticklys myth
In a fatty hebrew gurth
I wandered humply as a sock
To meet bad Bernie Smith
-- John Lennon, 1964
THE GENERAL ERECETION
Azue orl gnome, Harassed Wilsod won the General Erection, with a very small
marjorie over then Torchies. Thus pudding the Larbouring Partly back into
powell after a large abcess. This he could not done withoutspan the barking
of thee Trade Onions, heady by Frenk Cunnings (who noun has a SAFE SEAT in
Nuneating thank you Fronk (only 62) Bowels hasn't).
Sir Alice Doubtless-Whom was - quote - 'bitherly dithapointed' but managed
to keep smirking on his 500,000 acre estate in Scotland with a bit of
fishing and that.
The Torchies (now in apperition) have still the capable qualities of such
disable men as Rabbit Bunload and the very late Harrods McMillion. What, you
arsk, happened to Answerme Enos (ex Prim Minicar) after that Suez pudding,
peaple are saying. Well I don't know.
We must not forget the great roles played out by Huge Foot and Dingie in
capturing a vote or tomb. We must not forget Mrs Wilsod showing her toilets
on telly. We must not forget Mr Caravans loving smile on Budgie Day as he
raised the price of Old Age Pests. We must not forget Mr Caravans lovely
smile when he raised the price of M.P.s (Mentals of Parliament) wagers as
well also. We must not forget Joke Grimmace (LIB). We must not forget to
issue clogs to all the G.P. Ostment who are foing great things somewhere and
also we must not forget to Post Early for Christsake.
Lastly but not priest, we must not forget to put the clocks back when we
all get bombed. Harold.
-- John Lennon, 1965
BENJAMAN DISTASTEFUL
Benjaman halted his grave flow of speach and lug off a cigarf he knew where
peeky boon! He wretched overy and berlin all the tootdes.
'It were all nok a limpcheese then work ferce bottle Ai warp a grale
regrowth on, withy boorly replenishamatsaty troop, and harlas wedreally to
fight. We're save King of pampices when all the worm here me aid.' I
inadvertabably an unobtrusive neyber had looke round and seen a lot of
goings off, you know how they are. Anywart, I say get a battleyard pussload,
ye scrurry navvy, I beseige of all my bogglephart, way with his kind farleny
and grevey crawlers. But Benjaman was a rather man for all I cared. I eyed
he looking, 'Ben' I cried 'You are rather man.' He looked at me hardly with
a brown trowel. 'I known' he said, 'but I do a steady thirsty.' I were
overwhelped with heem grate knowalge, you darn't offer mead and monk with
all these nobody, I thought. A man like he shall haff all the bodgy poodles
in his hands. 'Curse ye baldy butters, and Ai think its a pritty poreshow
when somebottle of my statue has a place yongslave on my deposite.'
'Why - why?' I cribble all tawdry in my best sydneys.
To this day I'll never know.
-- John Lennon, 1965
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
P.S. The above poem and stories were actually copied from the genuine John
Lennon books, "In His Own Write" ('64) and "A Spaniard In The Works" ('65)
which my mum still has from way back when she was a Beatles fan.
They were copied as accurately as possible, and, without actually going as
far as painstakingly comparing each and every word I'd written with those in
the book, I can be 99% sure that all "mystakes"/"typos" are exactly as was
written in the books (and, presumably, intentional in order to make it sound
silly).
I'm sure you'll all agree that he shouldn't have been shot, and that he
should be here today sharing silly stuff with us in this group. Ah well, at
least we can remember him for the things that he did do....
On balmy seas and pernie schooners
On strivers and warming things
In a peanut coalshed clad
I wandered happy as a jew
To meet good Doris King.
Past grisby trees and hulky builds
Past ratters and bradder sheep
In a resus baby stooped
I wandered hairy as a dog
To get a goobites sleep
Down hovey lanes and stoney claves
Down ricketts and sticklys myth
In a fatty hebrew gurth
I wandered humply as a sock
To meet bad Bernie Smith
-- John Lennon, 1964
THE GENERAL ERECETION
Azue orl gnome, Harassed Wilsod won the General Erection, with a very small
marjorie over then Torchies. Thus pudding the Larbouring Partly back into
powell after a large abcess. This he could not done withoutspan the barking
of thee Trade Onions, heady by Frenk Cunnings (who noun has a SAFE SEAT in
Nuneating thank you Fronk (only 62) Bowels hasn't).
Sir Alice Doubtless-Whom was - quote - 'bitherly dithapointed' but managed
to keep smirking on his 500,000 acre estate in Scotland with a bit of
fishing and that.
The Torchies (now in apperition) have still the capable qualities of such
disable men as Rabbit Bunload and the very late Harrods McMillion. What, you
arsk, happened to Answerme Enos (ex Prim Minicar) after that Suez pudding,
peaple are saying. Well I don't know.
We must not forget the great roles played out by Huge Foot and Dingie in
capturing a vote or tomb. We must not forget Mrs Wilsod showing her toilets
on telly. We must not forget Mr Caravans loving smile on Budgie Day as he
raised the price of Old Age Pests. We must not forget Mr Caravans lovely
smile when he raised the price of M.P.s (Mentals of Parliament) wagers as
well also. We must not forget Joke Grimmace (LIB). We must not forget to
issue clogs to all the G.P. Ostment who are foing great things somewhere and
also we must not forget to Post Early for Christsake.
Lastly but not priest, we must not forget to put the clocks back when we
all get bombed. Harold.
-- John Lennon, 1965
BENJAMAN DISTASTEFUL
Benjaman halted his grave flow of speach and lug off a cigarf he knew where
peeky boon! He wretched overy and berlin all the tootdes.
'It were all nok a limpcheese then work ferce bottle Ai warp a grale
regrowth on, withy boorly replenishamatsaty troop, and harlas wedreally to
fight. We're save King of pampices when all the worm here me aid.' I
inadvertabably an unobtrusive neyber had looke round and seen a lot of
goings off, you know how they are. Anywart, I say get a battleyard pussload,
ye scrurry navvy, I beseige of all my bogglephart, way with his kind farleny
and grevey crawlers. But Benjaman was a rather man for all I cared. I eyed
he looking, 'Ben' I cried 'You are rather man.' He looked at me hardly with
a brown trowel. 'I known' he said, 'but I do a steady thirsty.' I were
overwhelped with heem grate knowalge, you darn't offer mead and monk with
all these nobody, I thought. A man like he shall haff all the bodgy poodles
in his hands. 'Curse ye baldy butters, and Ai think its a pritty poreshow
when somebottle of my statue has a place yongslave on my deposite.'
'Why - why?' I cribble all tawdry in my best sydneys.
To this day I'll never know.
-- John Lennon, 1965
--
:o)
xxxEDxxx
P.S. The above poem and stories were actually copied from the genuine John
Lennon books, "In His Own Write" ('64) and "A Spaniard In The Works" ('65)
which my mum still has from way back when she was a Beatles fan.
They were copied as accurately as possible, and, without actually going as
far as painstakingly comparing each and every word I'd written with those in
the book, I can be 99% sure that all "mystakes"/"typos" are exactly as was
written in the books (and, presumably, intentional in order to make it sound
silly).
I'm sure you'll all agree that he shouldn't have been shot, and that he
should be here today sharing silly stuff with us in this group. Ah well, at
least we can remember him for the things that he did do....